Big mistake

So tomorrow is the boys 5th birthday. Man has time flown by. I remember sitting in my chair at this time 5 years ago after just successfully stuffing my face at Shoguns trying to organize everyone to be at my house by 7 o'clock. Not because we had to go to the hospital no because the doctor had told me I could eat breakfast by 8. So ihop date it would be. The official last quite meal. And man am I glad I got up super early to eat because due to horrible circumstances my csection got pushed back even further and I didn't have the boys until 646 and 675. So glad I had that ihop. Anyways so the mistake...Beau and I told the boys last night that he would call tonight and we could open a couple presents because daddy had to fly all Wednesday. Well as I sit here typing trying to pass time I can hear the boys still awake in their room and have been up to ask me umpteen jillion times if
Daddy had called. I feel awful. I got their hopes up and they are getting crushed. I'm just at a lost of what to do. These are the moments I hate the most. Oh and baking 48 cupcakes and my dishwasher not being here. :). So as I sit and wait I feel guilty for letting the boys down when all reality I know it's not my fault or Beaus fault. It just didn't work out tonight and that's something I will have to learn to live with. And learn to keep my mouth shut around the boys until Beau is actually on the phone. HAPPY BIRTHDAY BRAEDEN AND BRENNEN!!! Mommy and Daddy love youi!!

Happy Birthday Babe!!!

February is birthday month around this house.. Well everyone's except mine! LOL Anyways Happy 30th to my awesome husbers!! I guess we will have to celebrate all of ours when you get back!! I kinda had a pity party last week. Guess it was the week 3 life is settling down let's freak out week! Ya oh well. This week has been pretty quite. Lots of studying, boys just sticking to their schedule (thank God they are acting much better!!), and I'm just floating along. It has almost been a month. YAY!! One down not too many left!! So anyways Beau turned 30 today!! OLD MAN!! The boys got to sing Happy Birthday to him on his birthday his time..It was actually still February 11 over here but who's counting. I'm pretty sure the boys were totally excited because it was closer to their birthday. I can not believe my babies are about to be 5!! Seriously I really want these next few months to go by fast, but would really like for my kids to stop growing up! They are learning how to read...Every night I hear MMMMMMommy. Or BBBBBBBook. Or CCCCCCChair. We are having a little trouble with C and K but hey what kid doesn't. It just seems like this past month they have grown up so much. Not sure if it was just a growth spurt or if they are getting more independent with Beau gone but they are just soo big sometimes. Anyways. The boys have officially figured out that when it is dark over here that the sun is up with daddy and every morning on the way to school they inform me that the sun is going down on the other side of the world with daddy. It's totally sweet. They even asked Nanny if it was dark in Muleshoe. BAHAHA. Don't think they live that far away. But they get daddy is on the other side of the world and his schedule is totally different. And Braeden (my infamous mommy's boy) informed me that he is daddy's boy now since he is on the other side of the world. Sad times but I guess I'll let it slide. We all miss him bunches but hey it is what it is and we are chugging along just fine gonna make it! Well that is all for this week as I try to get ready for Valentines and the boy's MarioKart birthday. Fun Times ahead!!!

Behind

Well the title says it all. This last week hit me like a TON of bricks and I feel like I'm drowning. Had my first test, started clinical, boys as busy as ever (OMG don't know how we're going to add baseball and swimming to the mix), had a killer migraine that has lasted longer than one has ever lasted before. Well the boys went to Sudan with Steph on Thursday. I was suppose to meet up with them and hang out on Friday after my 12 hours clinicals but I seriously could not get rid of my headache and decided to stay home and try to catch up on some homework. I did get a little catching up and a little sleep accomplished but seriously questioned myself last week if I was going to make it until May or better yet July. Whoa I don't know how single mommys do it. It's exhausting. Braeden...Yup still acting out with his smart mouth. Just ask Steph they evidently went 'round and 'round this weekend. I just don't know what is causing it. He isn't bad with me, yes he has his moments but nothing that is constant and I really don't think I'm blind to it. We have a sticker chart and arguing/talking back is one thing they are not allowed to do. Now I'm not horrible mommy who believes my kids will never argue/talk back but once they hit my limit probably after 4-5 times of me warning them I get mean. And last night was one of those nights. The chart lets them watch a movie before bed and they have to get all their checks or no movie. They have done really good so far but last night Braeden refused to listen to me to stop arguing about playing the Wii at 10 o'clock at night..Seriously!! And well ya they didn't get a movie. Sorry mean mommy time. But I somehow have to teach him to be better with other adults and respect them. I haven't heard much from his teacher and I probably need to have a talk with her, but I would assume that if he was having major attitude problems at school I would have been told about it. Ok no assuming I'm going to call or email her tomorrow. Ya like my thinking out loud...Me too. All my decisions will now be made this way. HAHA I went to the dr today for this stupid headache because it is not going away and well lets face it when you are in the medical field you become a hypocondriac and I swear I might have a brain tumor. Not really but it feels like it some days. I go in there and another thing that annoys me is waiting 3 hours when I have an appointment. Really perturbs me! Like I have 3 hours to wait..Oh ya and I have to go back Thursday...More of my life wasted. Anyways so they ask if I have been under any more stress. I start thinking and my answer is "well a little". I didn't want to sound like a cry baby who needed a cocktail of ativan, pain killers and antidepressants (not that there is anything wrong with them) when I went on about having a husband deploy, become a single mommy, getting a smart ass child (seriously I think Braeden was adopted to another home and they gave us a different kid), feeling totally overwhelmed, oh and I'm in the worst semester of school with a new teacher again and I didn't do too hot on my test and I started clinical which requires me to get up at 5AM and I'm definitely NOT a morning person. See whinny...I'll just let everyone else read it on my blog. Oh wait I have 2 people read my blog and I'm pretty sure they are family. PS I really feel sorry for my patients for the first couple weeks of my body adjusting to 5AM wake time. I really am probably the mean nurse until about 8 when my body wakes up and I actually talk, but lets face it when you're in the hospital you don't want some student waking you up at 6AM anyways so they are grouchy too. So anyways ummm..Ya I'm stressed but I have had tension headaches before and this is DEFINITELY not that. This is nausea, fingers going numb, heading wanting to explode, walking around getting ready in the dark because it seriously hurts too bad to face the light. Ya that kind. Anyways he just looks at me like I'm crazy for thinking I don't have tension headaches. He agrees with me though and thinks that it is a migraine and not just tension....And off I'm given a sample of some actual migraine stuff. Oh and while I was waiting for 3 hours there was a pharmaceutical rep waiting too. B/c evidently the dr was with another pharmaceutical rep (ya let's keep the patients waiting 3 hours to get free drugs...AWESOME). Well if you have ever seen Love and Other Drugs with Anne Hathaway you will get why I just busted out laughing when they passed by each other. I was just picturing one throwing the competition drugs in the garbage for the homeless to get. And them getting in a fist fight. Ya I was probably the only one who thought it was very ironic. I have a WHOLE new outlook on pharmaceutical reps. Anyways I guess that's all for my life this past week. Signing off on my randomness since the computer is all I talk to besides 4 year olds. Cheap therapy. LOL

Trying to get motivated.

Please get ready for some randomness!!! I have set out to keep up with our journey and show the good bad and ugly. So here is some random thoughts!!

I feel I should be diagnosed with senioritis. Really thought this only happened in high school. They sucky thing is that in high school we really didn't have to do much the last few weeks. Nursing school..totally opposite. It's go hard or go home time. 15 weeks!!!! Omg can't wait. This is my view right now while trying to motivate myself to study. Notice in the background Mickey is going and it just sometime more fun to watch cartoons with the boys.
Speaking of boys I found out today that I need to add something to my list of rip offs!! Subway...my kids are obsessed. I use to be but can barely eat there anymore we have had it soo much. Anyways I usually get them kids meals and they get a half of a half and honestly it's just not enough in my opinion. And I can't not give the dessert because they did eat it all. So today I had a brilliant idea to get a footlong and just split it. Yes my subway bill went from $12 down to $5 and they got double the sandwich. And we just ate chips and chocolate milk from home. Pretty good deal if you ask me. And I don't have to cook. Double bonus!! Another thing that is super hard with only us 3. Motivating myself to cook and then throwing away tons of left overs. Didn't realize how much my husband ate. Lol.
Anyways. We are slowly adjusting to our new normal. Braeden is surprisingly having a harder time and acting out a little more. Arguing talking back and yesterday my child who has never had a card pulled at school for discipline got one pulled...for talking and not listening. Surprising. As much as he tries to act like he is not a daddy's boy. I think he secretly is. So to me it is patience and not wanting to strangle the taking back arguing whining child and love and hug on the child that really needs a strong mommy!! Some of my earliest memories come from around the boys age so I want to make good ones. The boys have added something to our night time routine. Beau got to call 2 nights in a roll. Well last night was the first time the boys couldn't talk to him when they got out of bath. They got a little upset but quickly seemed to understand and got in bed. It just amazes me how much the have just accepted and been so resilient. They are my little heroes...or superheroes!!! Ok see I told you random. Sorry if you are still reading now. :). Moral of the story...we are keeping afloat and just adjusting to the best of our ability!!!

Sunday morning pancakes/waffles

It's a tradition for us to have pancakes and waffles Sunday morning. Well I'm pretty good at the pancakes but Braeden insisted on a waffle so I pulled out the waffle machine and attempted. Can you tell who does the breakfast cooking around here??? Ya I had no clue how to even turn on the machine. Lol. We got it figured out though just like everything else. We just had a little mess on the side.

Lesson of the Day...

Tobacco companies and Postal Services are killing me!!!

Ok not literally yes I know tobacco kills ya. But not where I'm going with this post. Anyways do you ever have that thing that you do when you're really stressed out?? Eat, Drink a DP, chew tobacco (ok if any girl says yes to this..GROSS), or if you're really good work out. Well the hubby likes his Copenhagen Long Cut and for me that means sending it on a great trip that I don't even get to take. So here's the break down. 3 rolls of stuff this morning at the commisary cost me $67.50. THEN I go to mail it.

Postal Lady (who was super sweet by the way): Did you fill out a Customs form?

Me: Uh no.

Postal Lady: Is this your first time?

Me: Yes that is why I'm clueless and have NO idea what to do.

Postal Lady: Is there anything liquid or perishable?

Me (In My head): Well technically it isn't perishable b/c it is already brown although he really complains when it's old but really NO complaining can be done. So my answer was NO.

Postal Lady: Ok, well you can ship in this flat rate box for $4.95.

Me: Ok great!! Not too bad

Postal Lady: Ok, lets's fill out this form.

Me: Ok, let me just write the address again

Postal Lady: We have to put exactly what's in here.

Me: Well good thing I wasn't sending anything dirty! (LOL NOT THAT I WOULD IN A MILLION YEARS!) It's tobacco

Postal Lady: Sigh well theres gonna be a slight problem We have to fill out extra forms and it can not be in this pretty little box you just so nicely taped up.

Me: Awesome! (thinking to myself you better not charge me for this nice $5 box you just told me to put it in! LOL)

Postal Lady: You really should tell him to stop this

Me: Ya well that's kinda hard. You see I tried that when he left and ya here I am so that's not gonna happen any time soon!!

Postal Lady: AND THE REST OF THE POSTAL SERVICE HERE Well It has to be less than 10 ounces.

Me: Well poo b/c there is a lot. Does this mean I need to send each can separate leading to 15 packages? (SHIT this is gonna get expensive)

Postal Lady: Well let's weigh it out and maybe we can put it in smaller bags b/c someone else send cigarettes this morning and we just did individual bags with the cartons.

Me: Ok whatever gets it there so I can be awesome wife! (And in my head...Thank GOD I'm not the only one doing this! =])

Postal Lady: Oh that's cute is that from your daughter?

Me: No it's from my 2 boys. Yes I smuggled tobacco in with my kids 2 pictures. Sue me!!

THen after filling out 4...YES count them 4 forms for each of the 3 packages with addresses on ALL of them and customs letters and BIG stickers saying APPROVED TOBACCO. AND big stickers saying VERIFY AGE OF RECIPIENT BEFORE DELIVERY!. Yes I felt like I was smuggling something. We got them all packaged up.

And the postal lady proceeded to tell me again. You should really make him stop this.

Me: Can I have all those forms to fill out at home so it doesn't take soo much of your time next go around because I'm pretty sure you will probably be seeing me every 2 weeks.

AND there we had it my total. At this point I was waiting for like $50. I managed to get out of the post office for a little under $17. NOW that is 4 more rolls of snuff!!!!!! Seriously! But I guess I can't complain too bad about $17. Yes it's more than $5 and was way less than $50 but still. I feel cheated. Copenhagen gets to go on a cool vaca while I'm stuck here spending my paychecks away. Yes I only work 1 day a week and yes my paycheck this week was only $150. Good thing I live off my hubby who can't enjoy his mula except in this snuff. LOL So here is to spending $80 every 2 weeks. I better be getting something really cool!!!!!!!

Insomnia.

I have had the hardest time getting the boys to fall asleep and most of all for myself to fall asleep. I have never had any problems sleeping. Just the one that lays down and is out. Not these days. Working on about average of 3-5 hours a night. Compared to my normal of 8!! Hopefully this to shall pass. On the other hand Steph and Av have been staying with us a lot since I need her to help with the boys and I help keep Av on nights she works. So last night Av wanted to stay with the boys. She laid down and was out for the count. Love these 3's love/hate relationship. Av is like the little sister. Brennen has even added her into our family pictures to send to Beau.